Terry Bollea Has Died. Hulk Hogan, However, Was Already Decomposing.
LEGACIES DON’T LIE. TAP OUT HONESTLY. - Welcome to the first hero of Advanced Obituaries - this one left too fast for us.
Some reputations are built in the spotlight. Others are destroyed in the shadows. But when death comes calling, the truth doesn’t care about your PR team.
This phrase is the editorial spine of Advanced Obituaries:
"Legacies don’t lie" means history will strip you down, whether you like it or not. No matter how loud your branding, the record remains.
"Tap out honestly" is a challenge—not just to the dead, but to the living. Own your legacy before someone else writes it for you. Or we will.
Because when the final bell rings, there’s only one thing left to write: the truth.
On July 24, 2025, Terry Gene Bollea—better known to the mass-market hallucination as Hulk Hogan—was finally counted out. Heart failure, say the reports. We’re still waiting to confirm if it was metaphorical.
It is, however, a poetic coincidence that demands acknowledgment: Hogan died exactly ten years to the day after the National Enquirer and Radar Online exposed him as a racist, in his own words, caught on tape:
“I mean, I’d rather if she was going to f*** some n*****… I’d rather have her marry an 8-foot-tall n***** worth a hundred million dollars!”
That’s what Terry said. Not in character. Not under duress. Just… off the cuff, in private, like it was casual wisdom from a sun-damaged philosopher.
Read it yourself, unfiltered:
👉 The 2015 Radar Exposé - Hulk's N Word Racist Rants Caught On Tape –– Foul, Disgusting Tirade Leaks.
This wasn’t just a career scandal. It was a mask-off moment. And in true American fashion, we shrugged, then sold him back to ourselves, less ashamed, more nostalgic. After all, what is Hulkamania if not the musclebound denial of moral consequence?
Let’s be honest—Terry Bollea didn’t die today. He died the moment the costume fused to the corpse. The rest was just brand maintenance and tanning oil.
But This Is Not Our First Official Obituary.
Not yet.
This is a first draft. A scratch pad. A toe tag with room for annotation.
Because over at AdvancedObituaries.org, we’re launching something a little different:
🎭 The National Obituary Contest
Opening soon. The first subject? Donald J. Trump.
$1000 First Prize. Eternal Shame Optional.More Info Coming Soon
But before we eulogize the nation’s chief grievance merchant, we’re warming up the scalpels. Hulk Hogan offered himself on the altar of irony, forcing us to launch this website sooner than we’ve planned.
And irony, friends, never dies.
Unlike Hulk Hogan.
🕯️
The Obituarist
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