COMING SOON: Advanced Obituaries— Subscribe Before It’s Too Late.
All in the spirit of Mark Twain - famously (and humorously) associated with the quote, "I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure".
Because, “believe me”, some deaths deserve a standing ovation.
Welcome to Advanced Obituaries, a safe space for those who understand that the end of a life can be the start of a bigger story—especially when that life held power, corrupted it, or got tangled in the machine of history.
An advanced obituary isn’t just a prewritten death notice for a VIP sitting in a newsroom drawer. It’s a lens. A way to look at the living dead—tyrants, technocrats, billionaires, and other permanent fixtures—through the obituary they deserve but will never get.
We’re here to write the send-offs the world is already preparing for, emotionally if not officially. Not because we wish death on anyone—but because some lives cast such long shadows, it’s necessary to imagine the light that might follow.
And let’s be honest:
We all know there's a BIG ONE coming. The one obituary people have been refreshing the news for—daily, hourly, ritualistically.
As the old Soviet joke goes:
“Every day, a man walks into a kiosk, picks up the newspaper, and checks the front page.
The vendor says, ‘The obituaries are on the last page, comrade.’
The man replies, ‘The one I’m waiting for will be on the front page.’”
Exactly.
So stay tuned.
Because when it hits—if it hits—you’ll want the right obituary.
Not the sanitized official one. Not the state media one.
But the advanced one.
Coming soon.
